As difficult as a divorce may be for you, it is vital to keep in mind that it will always be more troubling for your child. This is because, at least to come degree, you are ready for the relationship between you and your spouse to be over. In a lot of cases, children do not want their parents to be separated. Your child may develop a sense of loss or feelings of anger towards you and/or your spouse. Understanding these tips is crucial in ensuring that you do your part to help your child cope with the divorce.
Do Not Vent to Your Child or Shut Them Out
There is a fine line between keeping your child informed without making them share your emotional struggles and shutting them out altogether. There is no point in trying to hide the fact that you are getting a divorce, but you cannot bombard them with your negative feelings towards your spouse either.
You have to keep in mind that even if you have grown to hate your spouse, your spouse is your child’s other parent. You need to make sure your children know that both of their parents still love them very much. They need to understand that even though you and your spouse are not going to be together, they will still get to spend time with both parents.
You have to find a way to tell your child about what is going on without telling them how you feel about the situation. You have to give your child a chance to develop their own feelings for what has happened.
Never Put Your Child in the Middle
Your child is not a middleman. You should never use your child as a messenger to tell your spouse something because you don’t want to. You should never make your child feel as though he or she has to pick sides either.
Your child should feel free to love and be loved by both of his or her parents without conflict or stress. The worst thing you can do is trying to influence your child to dislike their other parent. They could grow up and resent you for it.
Create New Traditions
Any family traditions you had in terms of holidays and birthdays will go out the window when you get a divorce, take this as an opportunity to establish new traditions. This is a small opportunity for you to remind your child that the only thing that has changed is his or her parents are no longer living under the same roof.
Your children should not have to worry about little things such as whether or not they will get to see both of their parents on their birthday.
If you and your spouse are unable to communicate in a civil manner, limit how much you see each other in front of your child. The last thing your child needs is to see you arguing.
Hello! :) I'm happily married and the proud momma of an adorable little boy. One of these days I hope to make a full income from shared revenue and not have to write for so many difficult private clients.