Coping with losing the one person who you feel is the right one for you is a painful ordeal. When in a relationship where you feel you and another person are connected emotionally, spiritually and physically it is an amazing experience.
Unfortunately, if the relationship comes to an end this feeling of loss can be devastating during the initial time period the relationship ends. Breakups are usually painful, and they are even more heart wrenching when you believe deep in your heart the person you are losing is the right one for you.
How to deal with losing the right one is painful. When the disintegration of this kind of special relationship occurs, it is often difficult to move forward.
Evaluate the Reasons Why the Breakup Occurred
It may feel strange that two people so connected would separate. Why wouldn’t people who are perfect for one another simply stay together? The reason for the separation may be due to circumstances which prevent two people from being together. When this is the case it is difficult to contend with because if things were different you feel sure the relationship would have worked out.
Distance is also often another factor which may impact why a relationship with the right person doesn’t work out. It is not uncommon to see a relationship suffer because the miles between a couple are too much of a burden to bear and, over time, this puts pressure on an exclusive partnership.
Whatever the reason as to why the relationship with the right person ends, it can be difficult to move on past that chemistry and magical feelings you shared for one another. In order to move on chances are you will need to do some soul searching, reflection and later on, some hindsight-thinking. But in the meantime, you might find yourself wondering how do you move on and get past the pain of losing the right person?
Crying is therapeutic and releases any pent up emotions. This is one of the first things you’ll probably feel like doing after losing someone you may consider your soulmate. Let the tears happen. Allow those feelings to come to the surface through the flow of tears and give yourself time to grieve and mourn your loss.
Work Through Anger
If you have anger due to circumstances which may have occurred or a situation which caused you to lose your love, it is important to deal with these feelings also. It may be you need time to heal this anger, or if it is severe, you may need some intervention from an unbiased third party to help you find the coping skills to dissolve your anger.
After suffering a great loss family and friends can be your bridge to keeping you in touch with the present and prevent you from going backwards into the past. If the relationship isn’t working out, dwelling on “what ifs” will not help you deal with the situation nor will it allow you to move forward and find happiness.
This is the time to find a good hobby, or revisit an old one you may have abandoned during the relationship. It doesn’t matter what the hobby or pastime is, but whatever you choose should be something you enjoy and that be a therapeutic outlet for you. This can help tremendously. Ideally, it should be something that you did not share with the love you recently lost. You don’t need that constant reminder in your new life moving foward.
Avoid Rushing into New Relationship
When people lose someone they love, it is not uncommon for friends or family to try fixing them up with someone new. Or it may an innate instinct to find solace in the arms of another. Whatever path is leading you towards dating others right away, try avoid this impulse. By rushing into another relationship too soon, usually a lot more pain surfaces in the long run. Even no strings attached relationships are not a good substitute for suffering a relationship loss, it is best to let the grieving process to first take its natural course.
Was He or She Truly the ‘Right One’?
While the breakup with the perfect mate was devastating, try to keep in mind there was a reason why the separation occurred. If you are having difficulty moving on it may help to look at the relationship from an objective perspective and evaluate the reasons why things didn’t work out.
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People who are right for one another in the majority of cases stay together and, because of this, the reasons for the breakup are important to consider when trying to move on. If you can’t be together and work things out for whatever reason, then perhaps the person isn’t the right one after all.
Oftentimes due to a strong emotional and physical connection with a person it is easy to feel they are the “right one”. Sometimes people misinterpret lust, physical or emotional attraction for love and these feelings have a tendency to muddle emotions. It may not be until much later after some reflection and in hindsight you can see this person may not have really been right for one another after all. Only time will answer this question.
If the lost love is truly the right person it may mean the timing is off and things may happen sometime in the future. However, it is best not to focus on this because it is not a good idea to put your life on a perhaps indefinite period of hold and not find happiness in the long run. Instead it is best to focus on living in the here and now and doing this will be much easier to deal with moving forward. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be. No amount of coercion or force will make it happen if it is not meant to. Take baby steps and live one day at a time.
In the beginning the pain and sadness is likely also hard to bear because it may seem as if you’ll never find love again because of the feeling of just losing the chance of a lifetime at love. While the ache may always be present in some shape or form, time does tend to heal the wounds that cut deep.
Over time it will be easier to move forward, but if you allow yourself to grieve, deal with unresolved feelings and put some focus on yourself, moving on will be much easier.
Leigh has been writing on the web since 2007. She has a high interest in business, tech, higher education, and Washington D.C. and Northern Virginia travel, but loves to write about a variety of topics. In addition to writing on Writedge, she also runs a blog about the Washington DC Metro Area and a photography blog Photos by Leigh Goessl.