Alright, at some point in our lives, we’ve all been there. We’ve all been someone’s verbal punching bag. Each of us, at some disputed barricade in our existence, has been on the tail end of bad hours, worst pay and management so bad that it makes the Ninth Circle look like a day spa.
That’s right. We’re talking retail.
In particular, we’re discussing my own personal top five most deplored, volcanic rage-inducing and often, just plain ridiculous retail pet peeves. So, reader, behold! For there will be much gnashing of teeth.
1. Customers Who Leave Trash On Shelves.
Okay, let’s settle first the perimeters of my job description. I am fairly certain, though correct me if I am in any way unclear, that my job title is ‘cashier’, not ‘janitor’ and it definitely is not ‘your mother’. Ergo, it is also not in my job description to clean up after you. So let’s all act like adults and pick up our own messes, yeah?
2. Customers Who Count Back Change At Me.
Perhaps you’re an extremely paranoid person. Maybe you’ve been burned by cashiers before. It could be that they really are out to get you. However, it is pretty difficult to mess up giving you the correct amount of change when the computer is actually doing the calculations, not me. But wait! It’s the wrong amount, you say? Well, let’s see. As I recount the change, carefully placing each and every coin and bill on the counter for you to see individually, you are ranting and cursing at me. A pause. I’ll bet you feel pretty silly when you realized that it was actually you counting wrong, not me, huh?
3. Customers Who Throw Change At Me.
First off, rude. Just rude. I’m not allowed to throw things at you so I would thank you to not do the same to me. Just because I can’t, and wouldn’t but that’s beside that point, jump over my counter and give you a what-for does not mean that you can be as nasty to me as you please. I am a person and this person will be as pleasant to you as you can stand so please extend me the same courtesy.
4. Customers Who Get Handsy.
I am trained to react when a person reaches their hands towards my cash drawer which, at any given moment, contains more money than I make in a month. With that in mind, please refrain from trying to grab your own receipt or change from that drawer. Slow down, Speed Racer. This isn’t a race. We are not in the midst of the Checkout Line 5k with three minutes left on the clock. Calm your mind, young Skywalker.
5. Customers Who Use One Hundred Dollar Bills For Purchases Less Than Ten Dollars.
Oh, come on! Really? I just saw the twenty in there, sir! Just because you CAN break a hundred here, doesn’t mean you should. Especially first thing in the morning when all that’s in my drawer are ones and fives. Then, you get mad at me for having to wait on someone to bring more money up, as if I should magically be able to materialize more cash from thin air. If that were the case, I assure you that I wouldn’t be here, I would be tucked away on a family farm in Kansas. Give me a little slack, okay?
These are just some of my own personal pet-peeves. They may seem silly and are probably based on my own odd sort of social OCD. The offender may not even be aware of the offense! Try to keep that in mind, as I do, next time you are confronted with your own Handsy Harry or Phone-Glued-To-Face-Felicia. Either way, no matter how rude or frustrating, we must always attempt to take the high road even if they won’t do the same. What are some of the retail pet peeves that get your goat?