There’s a major row brewing in darkest Somerset, England, and rumour has it, it could reach all the way to the UK parliament, if not to Ireland, and the USA. It appears the trustee’s of Wayford Woods, Somerset, are set to demolish the fairy doors of leprechauns who reside in the area – effectively making the leprechauns homeless.
The first known immigrant from the Emerald Isle to the wood, is thought to have arrived in 2000, when the wood’s authorities noticed a fairy door had been built beneath a large Oak, half hidden behind moss and ivy growth. After due consideration, and it’s rumoured, consultation with civil servants, it was deemed not to be the time to create a possible diplomatic incident, knowing the Irish’s close links with the little people.
However, turning a blind eye to this illegal immigrant, and no doubt helped by cut-backs to UK Border Agency staff over recent years, has allowed a large number of the little people to set up home in Wayford Wood. Fairy doors are beginning to proliferate at an alarming rate according to trustee’s. To make matters worse, some of the woods original inhabitants are bitterly complaining. It appears that the younger leprechauns have been acquiring tinsel and baubles from the council Christmas tree, to hang from their fairy doors.
One of the local hedgehog population, was recently heard to remark that some of the doors would be better off in Barbie World, rather than sedate Wayford Woods. ‘The whole tone of the place is being affected’, he continued. It’s not just the hedgehogs complaining either. Local grey squirrels are very bitter that their stores of winter acorns are being constantly disturbed by leprechauns burying their pots of gold.
The woodland authorities have been making regular trips into the wood in an effort to undertake discussions with the little people, regarding their total disregard for planning regulations. So far their efforts have been in vain. However, an intrepid junior reporter from one of the local papers spent four days in the wood disguised as a bush. On the fourth day, just after a spring shower, he chanced upon a Leprechaun hunting for his pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Fearing his gold might be confiscated, the leprechaun agreed to be interviewed. Asked why the woodland guides were having so much trouble locating his kin, the leprechaun explained many had locked up for their annual holidays, and were already hitching rides to New York, to participate in the St Patrick’s Day celebrations on March 17th.
When the reporter mentioned the woodland’s trustees were considering demolishing the fairy doors, the leprechaun warned against it. ‘We’ve two weeks to go to Paddy’s Day’, he smirked, ‘I’d hate to think of all those people drinking contaminated Guinness.’
Wayford Wood is a charitable trust which covers some 29 acres, and includes meadow, ornamental lake and a small stream. Set up in the early 1990’s, it has always been a popular area for walkers, picnickers, and children’s outings. When fairy doors began to appear, families throughout the area began visiting. It’s rumoured a few children have actually met some of these elusive little people. If they have, they’re keeping very tight lipped about it.
To make matters worse, the authority’s worst fears are being realised. It is believed some of the children are being bribed with gold coins to sub-contract to the Leprechauns. Parents are being coerced by their children to help built fairy doors, which are then taken to the woods and nailed to trees for the Leprechauns and their entourage of fairies. This is further adding to the authority’s dilemma of whether to start removing them.
Enquiries to other woodland areas up and down the country have been made, and the replies are not good. Already, in Furzey Gardens, in the New Forest, Hampshire, 30 fairy doors have been located, and are believed to be the work of one man, or leprechaun. Other finds of fairy doors are expected to come to light as the woodland rangers check their arboretums.
It appears the lure of gold is having an effect. Advertisements have been found in local papers, magazines and online. Placed by people, they are offering for sale hand built fairy doors, although to date there is no record of any leprechaun turning up to buy one.
The Inland Revenue has already stated it expects any gold earnings to be included in the following year’s tax return.
FOOTNOTE: Fairy door images shown in this text are all available from https://www.etsy.com . Should you be concerned about a leprechaun being homeless on St Patrick’s Day, look them up. One fixed to a tree at the bottom of your garden is all that’s needed.
A British expat who has lived on this Island of Tenerife for over twelve years.A full time freelance writer, most of my time is spent article writing. I also write on D2C, Writedge, and wherever takes my fancy. For fun I try to increase my portfolio of short stories, with a view to eventually getting them published.