5 Things You Cannot Do Once You Have a Child

English: A child sleeping Deutsch: Schlafendes...

1. Sleep

Duh, right? Everyone knows that from the moment you bring that baby home, you are done sleeping. Even when the child gets older and sleeps a decent amount of hours through the night, goodbye sleep! Want to know why? You are going to spend a lot of time laying in your bed just thinking about that child. You will not be able to stop yourself. A little ironic, but some women kiss sleeping goodbye once they get pregnant. Have you tried sleeping with another person jumping on your bladder all night?

2. Breakable Decorations

Face it, you should consider yourself lucky if you can use the shelves on the bookshelf in your living room that are within your child’s reach. When you go into a person’s house and they have beautiful (and breakable) decorations everywhere, what is the first thing that goes through your mind? Wow, you do not have many children in here, huh? And if you brought your child with you… Crap, I really hope they don’t touch anything.

3. Be Selfish
You are not number one once you have a child. If you have more than one child and you have a spouse, you end up being 3, 4, or even 5 on your list. It’d be good practice for you to just give up being selfish when you start being intimate. In fact, the only parents who can be labeled as selfish individuals are parents who are bad parents. It takes a bad parent to put themselves and their needs before their child.

4. Be Naked

It happens to all of us, you dropped a piece of clothing on your way to the bathroom. You forgot to grab a towel. Maybe you just like to air dry. Gone are the days were you could hop out of the shower and walk to your bedroomWAHMOMMA patting yourself dry with a towel and changing once you get there.

5. Lazy Days

You cannot have a lazy day as a parent. Lazy days do not exist. Trust me, it is not possible for you to have a day where you “do nothing” once you have a child. It does not matter how old that child gets either. There is always something…. Something you have to do.

Man, you read that list of things a child prevents you from being able to do and you start to wonder why women do it. Why have a child after reading that list? Regardless, of what having a child might take from you… There is not a more magical feeling in this world than holding your very own child in your hands. Than getting a kiss from them. Than hearing them call you mama or dada. You may be tired and exhausted. But, you are also loved. And you couldn’t be happier.


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    • DLWright
    • DLWright
    • DLWright

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